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Rocket Firing Fun with Boba Fett

September 13, 2010

Hasbro has released some Star Wars figures on 1970s/80s-styled packaging.  I came across them in a store and was hit in the face and heart with some massive nostalgia.  Many people of my generation will feel the same way when they see the following figure:

Now imagine that, but the figure can actually bend his elbows and knees.  What’s more, there’s an offer for a mail-away replica vintage rocket-firing Boba Fett figure.  This, my friends, is the final nail in the coffin of my wallet.  The rocket-firing Boba Fett figure is the stuff of myth and legend.  Back in 1979, there was a mail-in offer on Star Wars figures for a new character from the upcoming Star Wars sequel.  All we knew was that his name was Boba Fett, and he shot a giant rocket from his back.  Who was this guy?  Was he good? Was he evil? What do you mean, there’s going to be ANOTHER Star Wars movie?  Remember, this was when Boba Fett was a genuine mystery, and not a cranky kid who watched his daddy get beheaded by Samuel L. Jackson.  Seriously, all we had was this picture:

Kids all over North America cut the proofs of purchase from their Star Wars packaging, sent them away to Kenner, and waited patiently.  Oh, they got their Boba Fett, all right.  And it was a mighty figure.  But instead of a rocket firing feature, they got an apology note.  It basically said “Hey, it seems that the rocket thing isn’t safe.  Sorry.”  A kid had choked to death on a Battlestar Galactica toy, and that was the end of Sci-Fi toys that fired tiny projectiles.  Here’s the commercial.  If you notice, the bit on the back of the package that mentions the rocket firing feature is replaced by a big black sticker.  Also, you’ve got to respect any commercial that has a guy who looks like your Dad telling you about tiny plastic people.

Oh, sure, there are some people who claimed that they got one of the “few” Fett figures that fired a rocket, but the truth is that only about 36 prototypes/1st shots were made, and none of them made it to the public.  The prototypes are kicking around out there, and go for tens of thousands of dollars on the Open Geek Market.

pic taken from theswca.com

Now, over 30 years later, you can get the damned thing.  I’m sure the rocket will be different, but damn it, I want one.  I just need to get five proofs of purchase from specially marked Star Wars figures, and the elusive bounty hunter (though not as elusive as Robert Denby) will be mine!

Of course, the hoarders and figure scalpers always get there before me, so any time I’m at a store, the only figure left is this guy:

Kids love a guy with a Hitler 'stache and no lines of dialogue.

Whoopdee shit.  Mustache McPilot.I mean, I think I’d rather have Lobot than this guy.  Oh, well.  At least it’s not the six-breasted woman from Return of the Jedi.

Oh Sweet Jesus, WHY? (pic taken from jedi-business.com)

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A Million Dollars?!

February 23, 2010

Somebody has some very deep pockets.

“Action Comics” issue 1, featuring the first appearance of Superman, sold at auction this week for a million dollars.  One.  Million.  Dollars.  There are only about a hundred copies in existence, and only two in as good condition as the one that sold for a Dr. Evil punchline.  The identity of the buyer has not been revealed, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Scrooge McDuck, Richie Rich, or Lex Luthor.

Here’s me back in 2003, at the San Diego Comic Con.  I remember seeing a copy of Action #1 behind glass and asking the dealer if I could take a picture of it (reassuring him that I would not use a flash).  To my absolute astonishment, he said “I have a better idea.  Why don’t I take a picture of you holding it?”

I was a CGC 8 back then. Out of 20. THANKYEW.

This copy was selling for a paltry $200,000.  I wish I could remember the condition… I was using a crappy digital camera back then (with a whopping 2.1 Megapixels) so I can’t make it out.  It didn’t help that I was probably vibrating out of sheer nerd joy.  Of course, this happened was back when they actually had comic book stuff at Comic-Con.  Now it’s mostly tweens crowding the place to catch a glimpse of whichever celebrity is there to plug their next half-finished movie.  To comic collectors, Action #1 is as big a celebrity as you can get.

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Video: Lobot Transmission

February 21, 2010

Link for Facebook users

I was messing around with Sony Vegas the other day, and threw together this creepy little 30-second video.  It was originally meant just as a little test film for mixing sounds and screwing with effects, but the GF hated it so much she insisted I put it online.  So here it is, cheap scare and all.  Are you happy, Laura?  THEY ALL HATE ME NOW.

Seriously, though… how could you hate me when Lobot is involved?  My only regret is that his puffy sleeves were not shown.  So Domo Arigat…. you know what? I’m not going to do that.

Eric

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Hug E Gram

February 9, 2010

I was looking all over the internet for huge grams, so I went to www.hugegram.com to see how huge grams can be.  To my surprise, the site had been taken over by a spectacular new product: The Hug E Gram!

(click here for video if you’re reading this from Facebook)

I mean, aren’t you sick to death of all the flowers you’re given, day after day?  My house is virtually clogged with dead, rotting daises and bouquets of zombie chrysanthemums.  Wouldn’t you prefer the sweet embrace of Mickey Mouse’s severed arms?  Now you can!  According to the website, they come in three colours: Red, Black, and Goatse.  You can record a personalized greeting on your Hug E Gram to let your loved one know exactly how much contempt you feel for them (as if sending a Hug E Gram wasn’t enough of a hint).  Even better, Hug E Gram comes with free wooden roses!  Who can say no to wooden roses?  I know I can’t, because I think they can be used to kill vampires and we need all the help we can get against those bastards.

Eric Fell

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Back to the Future 3: What the Hell is Verne Doing?

February 7, 2010

Man, Doc Brown really needs to get a handle on his kids.  For starters, they’re really creepy looking.  But watch this video, and keep an eye on Verne.

What is Verne doing?  Seriously… WHAT IS HE DOING?  I’m only guessing here, but I think he’s giving directions to the camera.  Either that, or he’s letting us all know about his own “Mr. Fusion.”  I can’t believe it took 20 years for this to come up.

Eric Fell

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MISSING: One Breakfast Vampire

February 6, 2010

Since last October, I’ve been searching grocery stores in my area for Count Chocula cereal.  Alas, my quest has come up with nothing.  Safeway, Save-On, and Real Canadian Superstore don’t carry the Chocolate Vampire.  Even trips across the border to the 24-hour Wal-Mart in Bellingham have ended in failure.  In fact, a friend told me today that he called the Safeway customer care line asking about Count Chocula, and they hung up on him.  Twice.

I asked myself: why did I want this cereal so badly? I can’t even remember if it tastes very good.  By all accounts, it shouldn’t.  I seem to remember Count Chocula listing pork as one of its ingredients.  Then I remembered: nostalgia.  I just can’t get away from it, no matter how hard I try.

Since 1971, Count Chocula has been rotting the teeth of hyperactive children all over North America.  He, along with his pink, re-animated companion Frankenberry, enjoyed fame, fortune, and a bout of pink stool. That is, until that sumbitch Boo Berry came along with his suave Peter Lorre voice, stealing all the thunder away from Count Chocula and his puffy pal.  Let’s not even get into Fruit Brute or Fruity Yummy Mummy.  Those are topics for another time.

Artist's approximation of missing vampire.

Poking around on the Information SuperHighway, I found no mention of a disappearance.  Wikipedia, which is never wrong, lists The Big Three as “still in production.”  Who knows?  Maybe Chocula hasn’t been taken off the market.  Maybe’s he’s just waiting for the right moment to make a marshmallowy return.  I’m afraid if he does come back, we’ll wind up with an “All-New, All-Different Count Chocula” for the tween set, completely defanged and topped with a head of Pattinsonesque spaghetti instead of his… umm… points.  Licorice shoelaces will be added to the cereal as “Real Vampire Hair.”  The treats inside will be body glitter and a little paper doll that can climb trees.  Concerned parents will file lawsuits because their kids are excreting sparkly stool.  It will be BREAKFAST BEDLAM.

When Tweens Rule the Earth

Sorry.  I got a little ahead of myself.  I do that sometimes.  Maybe it’s best that I don’t eat any sugary cereals.  They’ll rot my teeth and make me (even more) out of shape, and nobody likes surprise pork, anyway.  I should just count my blessings (PUN) that I grew up in an era where I could have a monster for breakfast and head off to eBay in search of a Chocula Bobblehead.  Nostalgia is my own, personal brand of heroin.  Well, nostalgia and Black Tar.

I’m going to do a more detailed piece on Chocula later.  In the meantime, check out this awesome blog.  It features tons of Monster Cereal fan art, like this amazing Karloff/Frankenberry mashup by Dwayne Pinkney:

Fire bad! Balanced Breakfast good!

Eric Fell

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Sacre Bleu! Le Star Wars Disco!

January 12, 2010

Man, if you thought Greedo shooting first was bad, Lucas could have always brought these guys into the Special Editions:

I love it when cultural phenomena inspire people to create humiliating tributes.  Having said that, I don’t see any poorly green-screened Na’vi dancing in front of stock photos anywhere… so  SUCK IT, AVATAR!